I often think of myself as someone who’s kind of meandering through a spiritual journey. My dad’s Irish Catholic background meant communion and the whole nine yards during my childhood. Honestly, my siblings and I weren’t too keen on those Wednesday night classes—I think they were Wednesdays? Even after ditching Catholic School, Christianity was still a big part of my life, mainly thanks to my mom-mom. Living next door to her and just down the street from the church meant quite a few Sunday mornings were spent there.

I also had multiple stints with different church youth groups growing up; it was clear I was searching for something. My mom-mom’s deep faith made it hard for me to just walk away from religion. To get a better grip on it, I thought, “Why not read the Bible?” So, during my first high school years, I dove into it. Honestly, I was a bit lost and was in over my head. Fast forward to college, and I’m sitting in an ‘origin of religions’ course, learning about Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. It kind of blew my mind that they all had roots in the Old Testament. It’s funny looking back at how little I knew back then and is important in recognizing how much I still have to learn.

Jump ahead a few years and some life decisions. My partner and I decided not to prioritize having kids for now. We love each other and want to focus on growing together. If a kid happens, great, but it’s not something we’re going to be focusing on. Instead, we’re going to focus on soaking up as much of life as we can. This decision led me down a path of self-reflection. What do I really want out of life?

Recently, I’ve been poking around Buddhism. The whole personal enlightenment thing is interesting, but the community aspect? Not really my cup of tea. I’m pretty private about my spiritual side. Recently I’ve been learning more about Stoic philosophy and have been reading Mediations by Marcus Aurelius; I eventually plan on doing a post on the book and my takeaways. Given my shallow understanding, I appreciate the Stoic focus on self improvement and learning to live within one’s nature. I am having trouble connecting the dots between the focus on logic and the repeated reference to Zeus, the gods, and their will. It’s also tough to rationalize the words of a man who preaches kindness and then leads war campaigns and persecutes christians.

Life’s full of these weird contradictions that somehow make sense together. It’s long but short, personal yet interconnected, and our actions are both significant and not.We all see the world through our own lenses. Our realities are just that – ours. Sure, we find common ground with others, but at the end of the day, our experiences are uniquely our own.

It’s wild to think about how both insignificant and crucial our actions can be. If you zoom out to the universe, we’re just a tiny blip. But on a personal level? Every day counts. We’ve got this limited time to do stuff, to experience life. So, while pondering our place in the cosmos is cool, what’s really important is what we do here and now. Just existing is pretty miraculous when you think about it. So, I’m trying to enjoy the ride, knowing that one day, I’ll just be stardust again.